Not “What do you do?” – but “Why do you?”

That’s the first question you usually ask of someone new whether at a backyard BBQ or a black tie affair.

It’s a question ingrained in polite conversation.  But what if when meeting someone new, that person put forth the effort to understand you, and not just what your hands do for a living.   Wouldn’t learning about what really makes someone tick (for example – she fights for the underdog, he creates structure, she’s passionate about connections) offer better insight in how they go about being an attorney, a project manager or a teacher?

In the same amount of time information is exchanged about job titles, deeper connection is possible through learning a person’s “why”.

Imagine if we approached both business connections and relationships in the same way.   Searching for the “why” about someone offers clarity as to how we interact with one another, approach business, relate to our surroundings.  Suddenly, the “what” conversations seem more surface than substance.

It should be normal that perceptive communication is what builds working and personal relationships.