Fertile Garden of Disagreement

Good Morning. I hope this message finds you well rested and ready to have some fun with your biggest challenges. Making progress climbing our own mountains can be gratifying and humbling at the same time. So many of our mountains are related to the way people respond to situations. Today I will share about the fertile garden of disagreement. I’ve written about the opportunity side of how disagreements and varying points of view become valuable tools in building mutual respect and how they beget success. This message is  a way of looking at a disagreement like its a fertile garden, ready to have whatever is planted in it grow, quite easily, out of control. Many strong relationships, marriages, and careers have been decimated by the smallest of seeds.

Finger pointing, “its out of my hands”, and other shifting of responsibility are the trademark moves of people that do not rise to the challenges they face. Instead of addressing falling short, they want to point responsibility elsewhere, keeping the spotlight off of them. Regardless of the cause, whether it be insecurity, poor skills, overcharged ego, lack of respect, or any of the other weaknesses, the results are almost always the same – regression and fatigue. In other words, I am left further from my goal with less energy to get there after wasting life through these situations.

What is the proper stance to take when battling this?  I am sorry to share I don’t know of a magic answer.  It would depend on the cast, their relationship, and other factors. Don’t despair. What we do know is the soil in the garden of disagreement is very fertile and whatever is sowed there will grow uncontrollably. 

Shifting responsibility is a part of life we will face despite our grandest efforts. The scenery of the routes we take impact our mood and progress, so its important to address timely. Our ability to cut off oxygen and nutrients to the destructive seeds planted during disagreements directly ties to our results.  What tools do we need to remove these havoc plants from our garden? 

How can we stop ourselves from the temptation of adding our own fertilizer to the divisive seeds sown during disagreements? Its startling how much growth the weed has once more manure is contributed. Then when the protective shelter gets put up to protect the positions taken is when the fun really starts. Understanding our igniters and how to handle them with care is one of the reasons why self reflection is so important.

Consider how you would teach others that look up to us how to demonstrate mutual respect. How can you raise the expectations you have on yourself in the way you will handle these situations? How can you help others raise expectations of themselves?

Good luck.